Strawberries at Wimbledon (A Short Story) Read online

  'You okay Rayne?' Lily skipped up, face glowing. 'Flynn is so sweet and handsome.’

  ‘That’s nice Lil,’ she replied absently, watching as Adam jumped into a curvy hatchback that looked like a 4x4 but was too compact.

  ‘It’s a BMW i3,’ Lily said, turning to watch as they left, pointing at the black bonnet and silver panelling. ‘It’s electric. Makes sense that Adam would have an eco-friendly car with the work he’s been doing overseas.’

  Rayne stared at her friend in amazement. ‘How the hell do you know what type of car it is? Apart from mine, all you usually know is that they have a body, four wheels and a steering wheel.’

  Lily grinned, ‘Flynn told me. Adam’s bought him one to use for work too, but in black and orange.’

  ‘Right.’

  'So, it must have been weird seeing Adam again?’ Lily studied her friend’s face. ‘There didn't seem to be any hard feelings?'

  'Yes. No.' She answered in order, pointing to the car park. They started strolling towards her Mini. 'No hard feelings and he’s not bitter. In some ways he’s still the same guy; nice, kind and funny…but with a bit of an edge. He was always confident, but now he seems really comfortable in his own skin and not as tense as he was sometimes. It’s in the way that he talks, and acts.'

  Lily snorted, 'Er, yes, and not to mention the fact he’s about a hundred times hotter than he used to be! He was always good looking in a boy-next-door kind of way, but you've got to admit he's grown up to be absolutely drop-dead. And did you see those arms? They’re ridiculous.'

  'Mmmm. I did. I really did.' Rayne shook her head to clear the buzzing hormones bouncing around her system. 'All right Lily, we should control ourselves. I'm not blind and yes, he is unbelievably sexy, but he's changed in other ways too.'

  'Do tell?' Lily shook her rippling blonde waves off her face.

  'He made me an offer I don't think the old Adam would have.'

  ‘What was that?'

  'He said we should spend the night together. For closure.' She explained as she unlocked her car.

  'Wow,' Lily had crossed to the other side of the car, but stopped to look across the bonnet at Rayne in amazement. 'And you said what?'

  'A lot of things actually. But it boiled down to thanks, but no thanks.'

  'You're an idiot. What about my sex with an ex plan?' Lily pouted as she swung into the passenger seat.

  Rayne got into the driver’s side, slinging her bag onto the back seat. 'I never signed up to that. And as much as I can see the upside, I'm just not sure. There’s too much baggage.'

  'Still, I told you all the reasons it's perfect, after what you said-'

  'Some things end because they need to. Because it's right. So starting them again doesn't make sense.’ Still, she would never forget their first time, when they had really begun…

  After the day she exchanged her name for a jumper, Adam made her a cup of tea every day. No matter what time she got up, there was always a knock on the door and a mug of tea ready at the end of an extended hand, usually accompanied by a warm smile and a cheery good morning. Initially she couldn’t work out how he timed it so perfectly, until Lily let drop one afternoon that he’d photocopied her class schedule, and knew that Rayne always got up half an hour before class began, given she didn’t eat breakfast and was a speed demon in the shower.

  Life fell into an easy pattern of hanging out together in their spare time over the next couple of months, sometimes with Lily but often without as she tended to spend time in her room alone. They got on well in spite of, or maybe because of, their differences; their upbringings, their family situations, their financial positions. He was articulate and upbeat where she could sometimes be withdrawn and bolshy. He had a wealthy, overbearing, upper class family with a pile in the country, while her grandparents had a tiny, well-loved terraced house on the edge of Richmond. They found each other’s childhoods fascinating and spent hours talking about their patchworks of memories.

  It was unthreatening and normal and Rayne quickly realised that she valued Adam’s friendship in a way she hadn’t anticipated. They talked about books and films, went to parties together, studied textbooks and compared essays in the library. He gave no sign they were anything but friends, slinging his arm around her shoulder companionably, agreeing with her when she pointed out good-looking guys, sometimes to try and needle him, though it never worked.

  At first it didn't bother her. She didn't want him to be into her anyway. But the more time they spent together, the more she appreciated how lovely and genuine he was. How much fun they had together. How good he made her feel about herself. How every day the grief over her parents burned a little less brightly. Because of him.

  A few weeks before uni was due to close sessions for the Christmas holidays, Rayne was in her room with Lily, finally taping posters up and making the place feel a little more homely with scatter cushions, cup mats (largely to satisfy Adam’s needs) and candles. It’d taken her that long to believe she was actually staying.

  ‘Rayne?’ Lily looked down at her friend as she stood on the bed holding up a corner of an Arctic Monkeys poster.

  ‘Yep?’ Rayne tore off a strip of sellotape and handed it to her.

  ‘Don’t yell at me but…’

  ‘What?’

  ‘I was just wondering…’ she continued hesitantly as she ran her fingers over the tape to make sure it was properly stuck to the wall.

  ‘What is it Lils?’

  Lily turned to face her. ‘Why aren’t you and Adam a couple, given that you’re always in each other's pockets and get on so well?’

  Rayne dropped the tape on the bed and went over to the window, laughing oddly as she stared out the window. Even to her own ears it sounded off key and high pitched. ‘Don’t be silly, we don’t feel that way about each other.’

  ‘Really?’ Lily stepped down off the bed and came over to study the grassed courtyard below them that her friend seemed so interested in. ‘Because the way you look at him sometimes, the way your face glows like you’ve got a light bulb inside you that only he has the switch for, makes me think you like him as more than a friend.’ Her voice was soft, ‘I know it would be scary for you, that you’re worried about getting close to people, but you’re friends with both Adam and I already, plus Frankie and Zoe, so would it really be such a leap to imagine him as a boyfriend?’

  ‘Yes. And even if that wasn’t the situation, he’s been pretty clear that I’m not his type.’

  Lily laughed, ‘I think you’re wrong.’ Pausing, she looked at Rayne pointedly and did a very brave thing. ‘But if you’re really sure you’re just friends, do you think Adam might be interested in dating me?’

  ‘W-what?’ Rayne spluttered, ‘You can’t. I mean, I didn’t think you liked him like that. You never said anything-’ panic and dread filled her at the thought of Lily and Adam together. Scrub that, at the thought of Adam being with any other girl. What would she do without him? There hadn’t been a day in the last eight weeks they hadn’t spent time together. He made her smile every morning and her tummy did that weird flipping thing whenever she caught sight of him. She wanted to be near him, and hear his deep voice say her name and tease her.

  And in that moment, she knew. It was scary how territorial she felt. Oh, crap.

  She did like him. She really liked him. The thought of losing him to someone else was far scarier than the idea of taking a chance on a relationship with him.

  If Lily was right, and he felt that way about her too.

  ‘Shit.’ Rayne put a hand to her chest. ‘Look, Lily, the truth is-’

  Lily raised both eyebrows meaningfully and waited for Rayne to catch up.

  ‘Oh, you’re good,’ Rayne backed up and grabbed a pillow off her bed. ‘You’re really good.’

  Lily held her hands up, instinctively moving sideways as a pillow sailed past her head. ‘You said you wouldn’t yell!’

  ‘I’m not,’ Rayne smiled, ‘but I thought you deserved at least
that.’ Crossing over to her friend, she gave her a quick squeeze of gratitude.

  ‘What are you going to do about Adam?’ Lily asked as she climbed back onto the bed to resume her taping duties.

  ‘I’m not sure. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but at the same time I do want to jump him. I need to think about it.’

  ‘Well, don’t take too long,’ Lily tossed her hair over her shoulder, ‘or someone else might snap him up.’

  ‘I won’t,’ Rayne murmured, looking across at the jumper he’d given her, which was hanging off the back of her computer chair. It was just about her favourite piece of clothing in the world.

  Every day after that the urge to tell him how she felt got stronger, only matched by the quivering nerves and knee-knocking outright fear that doing so would be the wrong thing, and completely mess things up between them.

  Studying in Adam's tiny room in halls one night a week later, Rayne fidgeted, feeling edgy and restless. It'd been a tiring day full of lectures and she was mad with longing to kiss him. She glanced around at the perfectly aligned Big Bang Theory posters stuck up on the walls, at the symmetrically arranged pads, pens and books on his narrow desk. Studied the CD player with a precisely stacked pile of CDs beside it.

  'Have you ever considered you might be a bit OCD?' she blurted.

  He went still on the bed, gripping a pencil between his rigid fingers, shoulders tensing.

  'Sorry. Sorry.' Jumping up from the floor, she sank down on the blue quilt cover beside him and touched his arm. 'Forget I said that.' He'd been so good to her and now she’d hit him with this.

  His jaw clenched. He breathed in, put the notepad down.

  'It's just I worry sometimes. You can get a bit uptight.'

  His eyes were cool. The first time he'd looked at her like that. 'You think I'm uptight?'

  'No! I just noticed that when you're stressed you tidy, and arrange things. You’re very particular. And I've never seen this room messy.' She tried for a joke, 'Which for a boy-'

  'Being neat is a crime now?' he interrupted. 'You sound like my dad used to. And Mum always said to leave it to our cleaner, that I should spend more time worrying about more important things than the state of my room.'

  'No. Sorry.'

  He didn't seem to hear. 'Maybe I don't think there's anything wrong with being tidy.'

  'Adam-' she tried to interrupt but he was in full flow.

  'Maybe taking charge is a good thing-'

  'Adam, stop-'

  'Perhaps knowing where everything is and being in control-'

  'Adam.' She leaned in and kissed him. It started off as a way to shut him up and melt the tension away from his scowling face, but when she pressed her lips to his, slid her hands into his thick, soft brown hair where it met his collar, the feelings she had for him took over. It felt amazing.

  She was just getting into it when he pulled away. Put space between them on the duvet, staring at the opposite wall. He gulped and looked uncomfortable. Clearly he did just see her as a friend. Lily was wrong; Rayne really wasn’t his type after all. God, this was awful, mortifying. Her face started to heat up, and an itchy feeling started spreading across her chest. 'I know I'm not pretty.' She closed her eyes and spoke into the silence. Saying it before he could might make it hurt less.

  'No, you're not.'

  Her eyes sprang open. 'You don't have to agree with me that quickly!'

  He ignored the comment, shifting on the duvet to look at her. 'You're not girl-next-door pretty.'

  ‘Okay, thanks Adam, I get it,’ she bit. She started to unfold her long legs from the bed, planning on a quick getaway.

  'But you are striking.' He said seriously, grabbing her arm to make her sit. 'And very attractive. Strikingly attractive. I'd be happy with that.'

  'Well thanks for trying to bolster the old ego.' Glowing but smarting as well. What if she wanted to be girl-next-door pretty? 'Really kind.' But her ego was kind of destroyed seeing as he'd just rejected her. 'Obviously not attractive enough for you.' She sat back, crossed her arms, trying not to show how gutted she was. How was she going to face him tomorrow? This was sooo bad.

  'God, it's not that!' he said, expression incredulous. 'I like you. I think you’re amazing. I love that you’re spirited, bright and ambitious. I really love the fact that you’re not like the other girls back home; you’ve lived such a free life, travelling with your parents, and are so much more worldly than them, with an incredibly open mind. None of the other girls have excited me the way you do. I wanted to be your friend first, and get to know you. I didn’t want to scare you off – and most of all, I don't want to take advantage. You're still grieving.'

  Relief almost knocked her out. Was that what it was? He was being sweet, gallant Adam? 'Yes, I am grieving. Yes, the thought of falling for you scares me shitless. But you wouldn’t be taking advantage. This is what I want. But, if you want to go that way,' she grinned widely, wrenched off her top, revealing a black lacy bra, and his eyes nearly popped out of his head, 'take advantage of me. Take total and utter advantage.' Leaping up, she undid her skirt and let it fall to the carpet. Knelt down over his lap on the bed, straddling him. 'All night. Starting tonight. Now. I want you to.' She kissed him hard, slipped her tongue into his mouth. Bit his lower lip. Moved back to look into his pale blue eyes. 'Or are you too much of a nice boy to accept a girl's invitation?'

  He laughed once, hoarsely, searching her eyes for something. Apparently finding it, he yanked her closer by grabbing her hips, making her gasp. 'No.' He replied in a deep voice. 'You only have to ask once.'

  'Really? I thought you'd put up more of a fight-'

  His hands slid down to her bum, fingertips creeping beneath the edge of her knickers. 'Shut up, Rayne.'

  And she obeyed for several hours, while he demonstrated in his narrow, student bed exactly how well nice, considerate, generous boys accepted invitations. It was only afterwards he told her it had been his first time. She wouldn’t have known it from the things he’d done to her.

  'You've got that look on your face again.'

  'What look?' Rayne shook her head, and frowned at her friend.

  'The Adam look.'

  'Shut it, you.' Rayne growled.

  ‘Fine. But you do realise we’ve been sat here stationary for the last five minutes while you’ve been gazing at nothing through the windscreen? A girl could get old waiting for you to start the engine.’

  'Sorry. Home then.’ She paused, drumming her fingers on the steering wheel, purple gemmed cocktail ring catching the sunlight.

  ‘You don’t sound sure.’

  ‘Do you mind if we go and have a drink somewhere? I'm not in the mood for home yet.'

  'That's not like you. You're usually dying to get back and work on a story.'

  'I know.' For some reason the thought of returning to an empty flat was depressing. 'I’ll have you dropped off at home by seven, okay?’

  ‘Sure,’ Lily started climbing out of the car. 'Let’s leave the Mini here and walk up the road. It’s still warm and there are a few places on the High Street. Although I guess you know that from your indecent proposal lunch with Adam.’

  ‘Ha ha, very good,’ Rayne replied before diving back into the car to grab her bag. ‘Let’s go.’ She spoke as she re-emerged, locking the car and putting her keys away.

  The pavements were still surprisingly crowded as they walked up the road. They swerved the Dog and Fox on account of the massive gaggle of men out front who appeared to have been drinking since dawn with no intention of stopping. Their volume was ear-splitting, they stank of beer and they appeared to be rating women as they walked past. When one of them shouted ‘Nine,’ at Lily and another shouted ‘Eight,’ at Rayne, Lily ducked her head down. Rayne stuck her middle finger up at them as they strolled past. Neanderthals.

  Agreeing on a posh bar just up the road, they settled at a table on the wooden decked sun terrace out back, surrounded by pink and purple flowers in pots.

  �
�What do you want to drink?’ Lily stood up.

  ‘Just a coke please.’

  ‘Coke! I thought you were going to have at least one. You’d be okay on a small glass of wine, surely?’

  ‘Probably, but I’d rather not take the chance with my licence. I’d miss driving my baby too much. Besides, I kind of feel like I need a clear head at the moment. You go for it though. Enjoy.’

  'You can't be responsible all the time, you know,' Lily wagged a hand at her. 'You've got to live a little once in a while. All you do is work, work, work.’ She turned to go into the pub and let out a squeal. ’Ooh, look, there's Flynn!' She simultaneously smoothed her hair and adjusted the bodice of her dress. 'I'm going to go and say hi.'

  'You only saw him half an hour ago, Lils. Maybe you shouldn't seem too keen?'

  Lily gave her an exasperated look. 'You know I don't play those sorts of games. If I like someone, I like someone.'

  'I understand that. And I don't play games either, but there's such a thing as being too available.' One of the reasons Lily seemed to regularly get her heart stamped on.

  'Better than not being available at all. Oh, Adam's with him. Are you coming over?'

  'Nope, I'm happy here thanks.' The memory of how he'd pressed in to tuck his business card into her back pocket still made her go hot and tingly. She wasn't sure she could trust herself around him.

  Lily shrugged. 'Okey-dokey. I'll be back in five.'

  'Have fun.' Rayne smiled, tipping her face back and closing her eyes to make the most of the evening sunshine. Which was relaxing for all of thirty seconds before she started thinking that it was silly not to have gone in with Lily. What was she trying to prove? Adam might think she was being weird, or was upset about something for staying out here and being anti-social.

  With a sigh, she heaved herself out of the chair and stepped inside. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the dimmer interior. When they did, it was to see Adam leaning up against the bar, surrounded by a random group of people, with some brunette girl hanging off his arm. Standing and watching him laugh down at her, Rayne was aware of stinging jealousy creeping along every nerve ending, anger blasting through her. She wanted to race up and yell at the redhead. Get your hands off him!